Looking For Love part 1...

Okay its now middle of May, in another, year of what now seems like far too many years looking for love.
Well its only , well not quite three years, since i lost my last love BUT that seems sooo long ago .
Yep I still love him and my heart was totally shattered like one of those asteroids blown up in space themed movies. BUT he is no longer here and i am still young'ish. 
I semed to have now woken up from all of that heartache and began to notice things AGAIN
Thus I have begun to notice all the great looking guys in my neighborhood and wider community, even been doing those public group things like the gym, night classes, interest groups etc. etc. etc. I just cannot quite crack that mysterious thing that makes me 'hook up' or just able to talk to another guy on a more intimate level than'Excuse me, sorry about that, hello, nice day, did you want to go before me in the supermarket queue (- as so i can continue to check out your fantastic looking butt in those blue denims) etc etc.
I am sure everyone out there knows those conversations.
So when I bluntly told that ohh so hot looking guy, who just happened to be talking to my next door neighbor (the one who is also ever so hot and 29 italian good famliy etc. and would not date me 'cos i am not one of them) that I actually thought he was kinda cute and hope his girlfriend / wife ( just fishing to see if single) appreciated that he looked good.  Well not quite like that but something similar.   All he did was laugh, not an embarassing laugh but a genuine 'that was kinda funny in a lucille ball kinda way' laugh.  You know that sort of laugh that says so much like ..."You gotta be kiddin'."
Yes I did feel very foolish at my apparent faux pas.  As for said other gorgeous guy ( neighbor boy) he just had a look of bemusment on his face and then followed it up with " what does your boyfriend think?"
"what boyfriend?" i countered
and then it slowly dawned on me he thought, well they all think the guy i am sharing a house with is my boyfriend. Boy talk about not taking much notice of your neighbors.
The said guy they were asking about is actually my younger brother and his girlfriend.
"i don't have a guy in my life" i ventured "except for my brother, who i share this house with"
DOhhh was the reaction, from both of them.
 So back to me telling both the hunks nxt door what I thought of them. It made me feel like a complete desperate idiot BUT....................I hope the first guy is available has a think about it and asks me out because I definetly won't say no.
I will even double date with you and the neighbor and his current girlfriend if thats what it takes.
So the question left begging is am I doing this the right way or has time gone by soo much that i am totally the wrong generation or wrong everything to begin again.  May be i should be like my neighbors grandmother , who lost her husband 37 years ago and has never seen anyone else since. 
Although I really don't feel like wearing widows black for the rest of my life.