Yesterday I talked about trying to find love again after a very long time in 'the wilderness of grief'.
Well after my neighbor ( said hunky 29 yr old Italian and his mate made me feel pretty stupid - all because i commented favorably on mates pants looking g8 on him - )there was a brief change in things this morning.
Said hunky neighbor actually apologised for his own stupidness in thinking my brother was my boyfriend. So taken aback by this I fumbled for , even, two uselful words but alas nothing came forth to my lips. So there we stood in a very awkward moment before i took flight and went back in the house.
Ohh well if only i was witty and able to say something clever.
Instead of having to think all my conversations through.
Ohh well I will keep on window shopping.
Wednesday 18 May 2011
Tuesday 17 May 2011
Looking For Love part 1...
Okay its now middle of May, in another, year of what now seems like far too many years looking for love.
Well its only , well not quite three years, since i lost my last love BUT that seems sooo long ago .
Yep I still love him and my heart was totally shattered like one of those asteroids blown up in space themed movies. BUT he is no longer here and i am still young'ish.
I semed to have now woken up from all of that heartache and began to notice things AGAIN
Thus I have begun to notice all the great looking guys in my neighborhood and wider community, even been doing those public group things like the gym, night classes, interest groups etc. etc. etc. I just cannot quite crack that mysterious thing that makes me 'hook up' or just able to talk to another guy on a more intimate level than'Excuse me, sorry about that, hello, nice day, did you want to go before me in the supermarket queue (- as so i can continue to check out your fantastic looking butt in those blue denims) etc etc.
I am sure everyone out there knows those conversations.
So when I bluntly told that ohh so hot looking guy, who just happened to be talking to my next door neighbor (the one who is also ever so hot and 29 italian good famliy etc. and would not date me 'cos i am not one of them) that I actually thought he was kinda cute and hope his girlfriend / wife ( just fishing to see if single) appreciated that he looked good. Well not quite like that but something similar. All he did was laugh, not an embarassing laugh but a genuine 'that was kinda funny in a lucille ball kinda way' laugh. You know that sort of laugh that says so much like ..."You gotta be kiddin'."
Yes I did feel very foolish at my apparent faux pas. As for said other gorgeous guy ( neighbor boy) he just had a look of bemusment on his face and then followed it up with " what does your boyfriend think?"
"what boyfriend?" i countered
and then it slowly dawned on me he thought, well they all think the guy i am sharing a house with is my boyfriend. Boy talk about not taking much notice of your neighbors.
The said guy they were asking about is actually my younger brother and his girlfriend.
"i don't have a guy in my life" i ventured "except for my brother, who i share this house with"
DOhhh was the reaction, from both of them.
So back to me telling both the hunks nxt door what I thought of them. It made me feel like a complete desperate idiot BUT....................I hope the first guy is available has a think about it and asks me out because I definetly won't say no.
I will even double date with you and the neighbor and his current girlfriend if thats what it takes.
So the question left begging is am I doing this the right way or has time gone by soo much that i am totally the wrong generation or wrong everything to begin again. May be i should be like my neighbors grandmother , who lost her husband 37 years ago and has never seen anyone else since.
Although I really don't feel like wearing widows black for the rest of my life.
Well its only , well not quite three years, since i lost my last love BUT that seems sooo long ago .
Yep I still love him and my heart was totally shattered like one of those asteroids blown up in space themed movies. BUT he is no longer here and i am still young'ish.
I semed to have now woken up from all of that heartache and began to notice things AGAIN
Thus I have begun to notice all the great looking guys in my neighborhood and wider community, even been doing those public group things like the gym, night classes, interest groups etc. etc. etc. I just cannot quite crack that mysterious thing that makes me 'hook up' or just able to talk to another guy on a more intimate level than'Excuse me, sorry about that, hello, nice day, did you want to go before me in the supermarket queue (- as so i can continue to check out your fantastic looking butt in those blue denims) etc etc.
I am sure everyone out there knows those conversations.
So when I bluntly told that ohh so hot looking guy, who just happened to be talking to my next door neighbor (the one who is also ever so hot and 29 italian good famliy etc. and would not date me 'cos i am not one of them) that I actually thought he was kinda cute and hope his girlfriend / wife ( just fishing to see if single) appreciated that he looked good. Well not quite like that but something similar. All he did was laugh, not an embarassing laugh but a genuine 'that was kinda funny in a lucille ball kinda way' laugh. You know that sort of laugh that says so much like ..."You gotta be kiddin'."
Yes I did feel very foolish at my apparent faux pas. As for said other gorgeous guy ( neighbor boy) he just had a look of bemusment on his face and then followed it up with " what does your boyfriend think?"
"what boyfriend?" i countered
and then it slowly dawned on me he thought, well they all think the guy i am sharing a house with is my boyfriend. Boy talk about not taking much notice of your neighbors.
The said guy they were asking about is actually my younger brother and his girlfriend.
"i don't have a guy in my life" i ventured "except for my brother, who i share this house with"
DOhhh was the reaction, from both of them.
So back to me telling both the hunks nxt door what I thought of them. It made me feel like a complete desperate idiot BUT....................I hope the first guy is available has a think about it and asks me out because I definetly won't say no.
I will even double date with you and the neighbor and his current girlfriend if thats what it takes.
So the question left begging is am I doing this the right way or has time gone by soo much that i am totally the wrong generation or wrong everything to begin again. May be i should be like my neighbors grandmother , who lost her husband 37 years ago and has never seen anyone else since.
Although I really don't feel like wearing widows black for the rest of my life.
Monday 9 May 2011
Mothers day
Two days ago it was Mothers Day, all around Australia, and on that day the biggest charity event takes place. It is a fun run or walk of either 8km or 4kms.
It is held in Melbourne in and around the Botanical gradens.
In the meanwhile In the regional city of Geelong this event also took place.
I entered the 8km fun run. Yes me run. ha ha ha ha or LOL as the facebook kids say.
So for the last ten weeks I have been worrking toward this.
On the day I was nervous and nearly decide to just walk it, as walking is as equally good for you.
So with aprx. 2000 other people I joined the crowd for the event. It began in the picturesque Eastern Beach area and lead up and around the boulevard toward the botanical gardens.
As we all slowly shuffled off trying to find our own rhythm people jostled and shoved as the crowd strung out for the first km.
My Ipod was on low but it seemed to work.
By km 3 i was doubting why the hell i was doing this.
By km 4 I looked - really looked around me. Looked at the sea of pink shirts, women of all shapes and sizes, children and a few husbands ( men folk) all huffing and puffing trying to reason to themselves why it was they, too, were there.
This event is mainly for the Breast Cancer Charities who were lead by the (now deceased ) Jane Mc grath to raise awareness for this disease. Apparently 1 in 3 women will be affected by it here in australia.
That means that I will be a cancer statistic or know someone who is. And I do.
I have worked with six women who were in varying stages of this and my fathers2nd wife had a bout of it.
Eighteen months ago my mother developed terminal brain cancer and has somehow surived past all the statistics in excess of eight months now.
So this event was about other people who had cancer of other types.
So at km 6 i began to realise that we are not alone in fighting this disease but all the other cancers.
I was a little sad that none of my immediate family were there to see me actaully achieve this but hey that is nothing new.
After enjoying a brief walk , okay aprx. one km walk, I saw some of the reasons why everyone was doing this.
As the light rain became heavier and none of us seemed to mind, one bit about the fact that we were getting wet and cold, from the southerly wind blowing.
At the finish I actually cried not only did I achieve something but after a couple of - lets say pretty depressing, grief filled (my partner rob died in oct 2008) and painful years I managed to think about total strangers and what they may have gone through, also.
Yes the scenery was good to look at also.
Okay my family weren't there, nor was the photographer who had been taking everyones' pictures earlier but the spirit of rob was and LIFE itself waited patiently for me on the other side the timing mat.
So it was a great Mothers Day i completed the course in aprx. 83 minutes; no Boston Marathon or fast type time but I finished.
Bring on the next challenge.
So thank You : the Fragapane, Faranda, Delios and Christou families who allowed me to walk and run around their various vegetable market gardens, as so I did n't need to be on the roads getting potentially run down by the fast moving traffic in our area.
Thank You to Mark, Ben, Glen and Trevor who made want to live this life.
Thank You to : Kylie, Elton, Usher, Snoop, Rhianna, Chris B., Madonna, Mika, Van Halen, Steve tyler, brett from poison, Jimmy and the cold chisel boys, and all the other great musicians who are on my ipod and keep me going.
THANK YOU to all the wonderfull people who volunteer at these events.
I think I am now hooked on doing more.
It is held in Melbourne in and around the Botanical gradens.
In the meanwhile In the regional city of Geelong this event also took place.
I entered the 8km fun run. Yes me run. ha ha ha ha or LOL as the facebook kids say.
So for the last ten weeks I have been worrking toward this.
On the day I was nervous and nearly decide to just walk it, as walking is as equally good for you.
So with aprx. 2000 other people I joined the crowd for the event. It began in the picturesque Eastern Beach area and lead up and around the boulevard toward the botanical gardens.
As we all slowly shuffled off trying to find our own rhythm people jostled and shoved as the crowd strung out for the first km.
My Ipod was on low but it seemed to work.
By km 3 i was doubting why the hell i was doing this.
By km 4 I looked - really looked around me. Looked at the sea of pink shirts, women of all shapes and sizes, children and a few husbands ( men folk) all huffing and puffing trying to reason to themselves why it was they, too, were there.
This event is mainly for the Breast Cancer Charities who were lead by the (now deceased ) Jane Mc grath to raise awareness for this disease. Apparently 1 in 3 women will be affected by it here in australia.
That means that I will be a cancer statistic or know someone who is. And I do.
I have worked with six women who were in varying stages of this and my fathers2nd wife had a bout of it.
Eighteen months ago my mother developed terminal brain cancer and has somehow surived past all the statistics in excess of eight months now.
So this event was about other people who had cancer of other types.
So at km 6 i began to realise that we are not alone in fighting this disease but all the other cancers.
I was a little sad that none of my immediate family were there to see me actaully achieve this but hey that is nothing new.
After enjoying a brief walk , okay aprx. one km walk, I saw some of the reasons why everyone was doing this.
As the light rain became heavier and none of us seemed to mind, one bit about the fact that we were getting wet and cold, from the southerly wind blowing.
At the finish I actually cried not only did I achieve something but after a couple of - lets say pretty depressing, grief filled (my partner rob died in oct 2008) and painful years I managed to think about total strangers and what they may have gone through, also.
Yes the scenery was good to look at also.
Okay my family weren't there, nor was the photographer who had been taking everyones' pictures earlier but the spirit of rob was and LIFE itself waited patiently for me on the other side the timing mat.
So it was a great Mothers Day i completed the course in aprx. 83 minutes; no Boston Marathon or fast type time but I finished.
Bring on the next challenge.
So thank You : the Fragapane, Faranda, Delios and Christou families who allowed me to walk and run around their various vegetable market gardens, as so I did n't need to be on the roads getting potentially run down by the fast moving traffic in our area.
Thank You to Mark, Ben, Glen and Trevor who made want to live this life.
Thank You to : Kylie, Elton, Usher, Snoop, Rhianna, Chris B., Madonna, Mika, Van Halen, Steve tyler, brett from poison, Jimmy and the cold chisel boys, and all the other great musicians who are on my ipod and keep me going.
THANK YOU to all the wonderfull people who volunteer at these events.
I think I am now hooked on doing more.
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